Days 12 and 13: Catch-up post

Day 11

Despite the best of intentions, I didn’t reach my step goal on Monday. My reminders helped a bit, and I thought I was well on my way to hitting my goal by the time the last reminder went off; but little kid was struggling to sleep and he seemed to have a hard time breathing. Despite our efforts to help him feel better, my husband and I decided to take him to the hospital to get checked out. Better safe than sorry.

By the time he was checked out, diagnosed, and discharged, it was past midnight and I was about 500 steps short of my 15,000 steps goal. Oh well. C’est la vie.

Final step count: 14,547

Day 12

As I lay in bed last night trying to get the little kid to fall asleep, I realized I hadn’t written my daily post. I had a fleeting moment of panic- I’ve already failed to keep my step goal streak going (more than once); would my challenge fall apart if I missed a day of posting as well? I considered reaching for my cell phone and trying to quickly type something up to post from the mobile WordPress app, but little kid was finally asleep and I was afraid that if I moved, I’d wake him. Welcome to mom life.

That being said, it occurred to me that if my challenge fell apart over one missed post, I had no one to blame but myself and my tendency to see things as all or nothing. Despite all of the changes I’ve made this year, I still struggle with wanting to do things perfectly; and the problem with perfection is that it’s not usually realistic. Shit happens. Life happens. Mistakes happen. Failure happens.

Striving to be your best, to succeed, and even to be perfect, are admirable things; but giving up because perfection becomes unattainable is dumb. It’s weakness. Strength and success come from picking yourself back up after you’ve fallen down – especially if you’ve already fallen down and gotten back up numerous times before. You haven’t truly failed until you give up and stop trying.

Final step count: 12,118

Day 13

Unfortunately, I “failed” to hit my step goal again yesterday, but I’m still here. This challenge isn’t over yet. I’m not giving up.

I needed to write this post today because little kid is still sick, and it’s been difficult to get back to my routine. If you haven’t figured this out already (despite the numerous times I’ve written about it), I really need my routines and habits. Without them, I feel “lost.” I needed to remind myself today that I can’t give up. Regardless of what’s happening in my day-to-day life, I can still do things. I can still work towards my goals. I just have to push through the mental roadblock that is trying to convince me otherwise.

I have a habit of listening to audiobooks. I love reading. I can get lost in a good book, but that passion is limited to mostly to fiction. Despite my love of reading and learning, I have to make a greater effort to read non-fiction books; but I’ve discovered I can listen to them with little difficulty while I drive, do the dishes, or get ready for work. My library uses the OverDrive app, so I’m able to borrow audiobooks and listen to them through the app for free.

I mention all of that because I’m currently listening to The Clarity Cleanse by Habib Sadeghi. I hesitated to borrow and listen to this book because I’m not a huge fan of health-related books that rely on anecdotal evidence to support its claims, but it was available at the time and the books I was originally searching for weren’t, so yeah.

Anywho, from the couple of chapters I’ve heard thus far, Sadeghi claims that most diseases are psychosomatic – he believes they’re caused by the brain. His argument is that the negative emotions and thoughts we hold can make us ill, and if we can process those emotions, we can cure our illnesses. His reason for a lack of empirical evidence for his assertion is that this connection just hasn’t been studied enough (or maybe at all?) yet. Now, I can’t say I necessarily agree that a disease like cancer, for example, can be caused by negative emotions; but I do believe that having the right mindset can help with a speedy recovery from an illness, and it is true that when we are stressed or upset, our body responds physically. There is evidence that the mind does play some roll in how we feel.

All of this brings me back to this post today. I’ve been feeling physically gross this week, for a lack of a better description. There are obvious physical reasons why: I haven’t been working out, I’m eating mostly junk food, I haven’t been drinking much water, and my Garmin says I’ve slept between 4 – 6 hours a night for the past three nights (barely averaging an hour of deep sleep each night). I should feel bad, but I can’t help but wonder how much of my own mental state is playing a role in exacerbating how badly I feel? Can a shift in attitude make me feel even the slightest bit better?

I can’t say for sure, but I can write that I do feel more motivated since I began writing this post. I’m still tired, I still have a dull headache, but I’m more willing to get up and try to get some things done. I feel less cranky than I did earlier as well. It may not be a significant change, but it’s enough to get me back on track with hitting my step goal today, even if I am starting pretty late in the day.

Something is always better than nothing. Some progress is better than no progress at all. No day is wasted as long as you take at least one step forward, right? Even if you started off by taking two steps back.

Current step total: 2,876

Current step goal streak: 0 days 
Previous step goal streak: 1 day 
Longest step goal streak: 6 days 


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