I managed to push through and hit my goal on Tuesday, but yesterday was a fail. I lost track of time and ended the day almost 2,000 steps short. I can’t say I’m doing much better today either. It’s already past 8:00 pm and I’m not even at 5,000 steps yet.
I’m finding it a lot harder to hit my step goal this time around. I’m not as motivated as a I was the first time. I’m not sure if that’s because I haven’t slept much this week, or if I’ve just lost my “why.”
I know why I want to do this. I can still remember how much better I felt a month into this challenge. It got me to my lowest weigh in years and helped me continue to lose inches off my jiggly bits. But knowing why you should do something, and why you want to do something, doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll actually do it. At least, that’s how it is for me.
I need to find something else; something that’ll really get my motivation fire going. And, although I should probably feel embarrassed to admit this, in the past, my most successful motivators have been pretty shallow, and not always so nice. You know, like showing off to a guy I liked, making an ex feel regretful, making a girl I didn’t like feel jealous, and most recently (during my first attempt at the challenge), buying some cute new clothes I feel pretty in.
Dumb and shallow? Sure. But effective; at least in the short term. The problem I’m facing now is that getting older sometimes means you care a lot less about, or don’t have any real use for, the first three motivators I listed. Which is a good thing right? I mean, I’m happily married and I don’t really have time to dislike people, or at least, give them any thought. And the fourth motivator, well, I sort of splurged on Black Friday, so I really can’t do any more shopping for myself for a while.
There was a time when I found running a race or doing an obstacle course thingy motivating; but I’m not really feeling those lately either. I’m out of ideas.
I can’t wait on finding the motivation to do this though. There’s no guarantee that I’ll ever really find it, so I just sort of have to do it right? Take it one day at a time? One foot in front of the other? Focus on each step and hope that at the end of the day, it adds up to 15,000 of them?
There’s this book called The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. I may have mentioned it in a previous post. Anywho, that’s sort of the whole premise behind it: where you end up in life is the result of all the little choices you made each and every day. You may not notice the results right away, but that nightly dessert you choose to eat could turn into a 5 lbs weight gain over the course of a couple of years. The morning walk you start taking could have the opposite effect over a long enough time. So, motivation or not, I just need to focus on doing those little things every day – consistently.