I got “glutened” at the retreat this week.
I don’t know how it happened (I’m assuming it was a cross contamination issue). The retreat organizer told the hotel about my dietary restrictions, and as far as I could tell, they did a great job at accommodating me. During our initial sit-down dinner, they prepared a separate gluten-free menu for me, and at the buffet, allergens were clearly listed on the labels for each dish. There was no moment during the retreat in which I was unsure of, or concerned about, something I ate. And yet, I’ve been sick since yesterday.
I’ve tried really hard to stay positive about my celiac disease diagnosis. It hasn’t always been easy, but for the most part, I’ve tried to make the best of it. I’ve focused on searching for and cooking new recipes. I’ve challenged myself to make gluten and/or dairy-free versions of the foods I really enjoy. And the Instagram account I created to document the gluten-free meals I make, products I try, and restaurants I visit, has been fun to use. But, when shit like this happens, I just can’t help but get upset.
I mean, I feel like I did everything right this week, and the hotel really seemed to have everything under control. How could something as seemingly insignificant as a little cross contamination cause me so much pain? My stomach feels like it’s being stabbed over and over and over again, while someone else simultaneously stomps on it.
I’m at a loss on days like today. I don’t know what to think. I feel discouraged. I don’t want to live in a bubble, but I also don’t want to be in pain. I know my celiac disease developed over time, so I can’t expect my stomach to heal overnight. But, how do I even know it’s healing? On days like these, I find myself falling down the Google rabbit hole, reading everything I can on celiac disease, in hopes that I’ll come across something that will tell me how to fix this or make it go away. So far, I’ve found nothing new.
Fortunately, I do (and will) eventually climb back out again. I’ll start to feel better. I’ll get back up, brush myself off, and refocus on all of my health goals. It’ll be ok. And, most importantly, I’ll continue to hit my step goal. I’ve got a 5-day streak going now. I can’t ruin it already.