Day 52: I ate a mountain of french fries

The last few days, I’ve been feeling pretty proud of myself. I am on a 5-day step goal streak, I’ve been hitting the gym, and I’ve managed to get more mindfulness and water into my daily life. I’ve also been doing pretty ok with the whole avoiding gluten and dairy thing – it hasn’t felt as hard as I expected it to be.

Until today.

Today sucked. Or rather, this evening sucked.

The day started out all right. I had some bone broth soup for breakfast. I went to the gym. I did some work and a little meal prepping. I even volunteered at my daughter’s school for a couple of hours. It was turning out to be a nice, productive day. Then we went out for dinner after visiting the poop museum (yup, you read that right, a museum dedicated to poop). My daughter wanted a burger and I figured I would be able to find something I could eat there too, so we went to the burger spot.

Well, it turns out they only serve cheeseburgers at this place, and asking for a burger with no cheese or bun just isn’t a thing. That’s just not how it works here; so while everyone else had what they described as the best burgers they’ve tasted since moving to Japan, I ate a mountain of fries.

I have never wanted a burger so bad in my life.

It was awful. That meal was a slap-in-the-face reminder that having to avoid gluten and dairy sucks big time. It legit hurt my feelings.

I know I should focus on the fact that I managed to resist the temptation. I should be proud of myself for staying strong and all that; but truthfully, I sort of feel a bit down about it instead.

I keep telling myself that it’s just food and that cravings are really just mind games your brain plays with you, but it still feels crappy. It still makes me feel kind of sad. I mean, I love food. It means all sorts of things to me. I also love doing whatever I want – I don’t do well with rules and restrictions, just ask any of my previous supervisors from back in the day.

But, I’m going to bed tonight without stomach pains. I’m not running to the bathroom every few minutes. I feel good physically, even if I don’t feel so swell emotionally, and that’s a good thing. I can’t expect it to always be easy. It’s going to be hard more often than not, but in the end, despite the suck, it will be worth it – even if I can’t take comfort in that fact right now.

Day 38: “Healing” my thyroid?

I’ve struggled this week, not just with meeting my step goal, but with making positive choices overall. Today though, I’m really feeling it. I had all these plans for the day, but I just can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything. I feel sort of out of it. Instead of doing some work, going to the gym, or cleaning the house, I’m sitting here Googling stuff about my thyroid.

I think I mentioned in my first go around that I have hypothyroidism. I recently had my blood tests redone and although I haven’t met with my doctor yet to go over the results, they were uploaded to my online medical record and it looks like she might be officially diagnosing me with Hashimoto’s.

I’ve suspected my hypothyroidism is a result of Hashimoto’s for a while now based on prior lab results, but I’ve never really considered having it confirmed or doing anything about it. Last December though, I started to give it a lot more thought. I skimmed through a few books, read some blogs, did all the Dr. Google stuff people do, and in the end, decided to make only one New Year’s Resolution for 2019: to take better care of my health.

I started the year off by trying to avoid gluten and dairy. Both are considered to be inflammatory and it seems a lot of people with Hashimoto’s have seen positive improvements by avoiding these. Unfortunately, I underwent an emergency surgery less than two weeks into the new year and have struggled to get back to it since then.

This month, I added both items to my tracking spreadsheet and my doctor ordered tests to confirm whether or not I’m suffering from milk and gluten intolerance. I’ve avoided both here and there, but not consistently. Today though, I’m thinking that needs to change.┬áMe being me, I created a spreadsheet of all my lab test results and it doesn’t look good – my results seem to be getting worse. Will avoiding gluten and milk help like the internet says it will? I don’t know, but I don’t think it’ll hurt to give it a try.

So, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to commit to it and I’m going to keep tracking my test results to see if it helps. Worst case scenario it doesn’t, but best case scenario it does. Either way, no harm, no foul right?