Day 63: Another Bod Pod on the books

Today was another Bod Pod day. Usually, I try to go on a monthly basis, but lately it’s been a bit more sporadic due to scheduling issues. My last appointment was on March 5th, and it wasn’t a good one. After steadily losing weight and fat lbs over the last year, I fell off the wagon and gained a significant chunk of it back.

Date % Fat % Fat Free Mass Fat Mass Fat Free Mass Body Mass
10/25/2018 26.1 73.9 31.518 lbs 89.209 lbs 120.728 lbs
1/25/19 27.8 72.2 34.409 lbs 89.443 lbs 123.852 lbs
3/5/2019 29.8 70.2 37.670 lbs 88.765 lbs 126.431 lbs

Today, six weeks after my last appointment, I went in feeling a tad bit hopeful. I wasn’t expecting any huge changes – the scale hadn’t moved much and I only lost an inch or two off my waist – but I did want to see some improvement. Despite all of the ups and downs these past few weeks, I felt like I did better overall compared to the beginning of the year. No, I didn’t go to the gym as planned, but I did go more often. And although I struggled to get a step goal streak going, I walked more steps on average. I don’t think I necessarily ate any less, but I did make some better food choices. Surely that must have done something, right? 

Well…

Date % Fat % Fat Free Mass Fat Mass Fat Free Mass Body Mass
10/25/2018 26.1 73.9 31.518 lbs 89.209 lbs 120.728 lbs
1/25/19 27.8 72.2 34.409 lbs 89.443 lbs 123.852 lbs
3/5/2019 29.8 70.2 37.670 lbs 88.765 lbs 126.431 lbs
4/15/2019 27.6 72.4 34.316 lbs 89.799 lbs 124.116 lbs

It did! Woo hoo!

Despite not being perfect, I lost 3 lbs of fat and gained 1 lb of fat free mass. I’m tempted to attribute some of those improvements on the Bod Pod’s error margin, but I need this win, so I won’t. Instead, I’m going to feel good about it and use it to get motivated to do more.  I think I’m finally really ready to start reaching my goals.

Happy Monday!

Day 33: Tracking things

When I committed to giving this challenge another try, I told myself that I would stick to one goal or habit at a time. Once I was able to successfully keep that goal/habit for at least seven days straight, then I could consider adding another one.

But me being me, I created a new tracking sheet after my most recent Bod Pod and put a whole bunch of stuff on it. I didn’t set any new goals and I didn’t commit to religiously tracking everything, but I did tell myself that I would at the very least try to track these things. And I have for the most part.

Maybe it’s my inner nerd, but I love spreadsheets. I like having the data to analyze afterward and see how the different things I do affect how I feel, how I look, and what I am able to do. It makes this process seem less like hard work and more like some science experiment – kind of how I approached my other goals the first time around. That change in viewpoint has really made a difference for me when I’ve struggling to overcome a challenge and stick with a goal in the past. I’m hoping it’ll day the same this time around too.

My spreadsheet also serves as a great visual reminder to stay on track towards making these positive changes. I hung it up on the pantry door in my kitchen. There’s nothing else hanging there, so it doesn’t get lost among other papers like the stuff I hang on the fridge does. I see it everyday. And although I guess it could make me feel bad by showcasing my “failures,” so far I’ve found it to be motivating instead – to a certain extent. It doesn’t seem to motivate me to hit my step goal every day. But, it doesn’t take away my motivation either, so no harm no foul?

How to motivate myself to stick with my step goal seems to be like something I need to think about more. I mean, that is the whole point of this challenge, right?

Day 9: Not today

8:49 pm: 5,362 steps

Dejavú.

Here I am, two days later, in the same predicament. It’s almost bedtime and I’m short almost 10,000 steps from my step goal. The difference today is that I’m writing this post while walking laps around my living room. I’m determined to break this cycle of “two steps forward, one step back.”

Not only am I walking laps though, I’m doing it while my normally lazy dog tries to walk them with me. That may not seem like a big deal, but he’s wearing a donut around his neck to prevent him from chewing at his paws and zig zagging between my feet as I walk. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve tripped over him.

9:38 pm: 10,202 steps

It’s taken me almost an hour to take 5,000 steps. The dog’s gone to sleep and I’m on my second Kdrama episode. Make that my third.

I’m tired, I guess, but proud of myself for sticking with it.

And yet, I can’t help but wonder if this is normal behavior.

10:28 pm: 15,062 steps

Another 50 minutes to take another 5,000 steps. If I wasn’t tired before, I’m definitely tired now. I should have paced faster. Regardless, I’ve done it. I’ve hit my step goal for the day. Win!

Day 7: The choices we make

I chose to blow off my step goal last night. It wasn’t an easy choice, I thought about it a lot, but in the end it’s the choice I made.

I spent most of the day working at my computer. I used to stand while I worked, but lately I’ve been sitting at the kitchen table instead. By the time I decided to clock out for the day it was already late in the afternoon and I hadn’t even reached 5,000 steps.

I had plans to meet a friend later on so I assumed we’d do a lot of walking, but we didn’t. Despite my sedentary day, I was exhausted and ready for bed the minute I got home last night.

As I lay there I remembered my step goal and checked my watch. I was barely at 5,000 steps. Hitting my goal at that time would have required 10,000 steps worth of living room laps. It was a bit past 9 pm, so I knew I had enough time to do it… but I didn’t want to. I was tired – so, so tired.

I thought about the precedent I would set for myself by not walking those laps. It motivated me enough to get up and walk a few, but I just didn’t have it in me to keep going. I just wanted to go to sleep.

It occurred to me that if I were further along in my streak, I may very well have pushed myself to walk those 10,000 steps – but I was only two days in. In the grand scheme of things, that didn’t seem like all that much.

I don’t regret the decision I made, but I don’t want to have to make that decision again in the future. I want to successfully complete this challenge without dragging it out another two or three years.

Thankfully I’m a lot closer to my goal this evening. I had to volunteer to walk the dog to get there, but I did it. I’ll still need to walk a bunch of laps before bed, but it feels doable. I intend to start this week on the right foot.

Happy Monday!

Days 2, 3, & 4: Fail so soon?

I managed to push through and hit my goal on Tuesday, but yesterday was a fail. I lost track of time and ended the day almost 2,000 steps short. I can’t say I’m doing much better today either. It’s already past 8:00 pm and I’m not even at 5,000 steps yet.

I’m finding it a lot harder to hit my step goal this time around. I’m not as motivated as a I was the first time. I’m not sure if that’s because I haven’t slept much this week, or if I’ve just lost my “why.”

I know why I want to do this. I can still remember how much better I felt a month into this challenge. It got me to my lowest weigh in years and helped me continue to lose inches off my jiggly bits. But knowing why you should do something, and why you want to do something, doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll actually do it. At least, that’s how it is for me.

I need to find something else; something that’ll really get my motivation fire going. And, although I should probably feel embarrassed to admit this, in the past, my most successful motivators have been pretty shallow, and not always so nice. You know, like showing off to a guy I liked, making an ex feel regretful, making a girl I didn’t like feel jealous, and most recently (during my first attempt at the challenge), buying some cute new clothes I feel pretty in.

Dumb and shallow? Sure. But effective; at least in the short term. The problem I’m facing now is that getting older sometimes means you care a lot less about, or don’t have any real use for, the first three motivators I listed. Which is a good thing right? I mean, I’m happily married and I don’t really have time to dislike people, or at least, give them any thought. And the fourth motivator, well, I sort of splurged on Black Friday, so I really can’t do any more shopping for myself for a while.

There was a time when I found running a race or doing an obstacle course thingy motivating; but I’m not really feeling those lately either. I’m out of ideas.

I can’t wait on finding the motivation to do this though. There’s no guarantee that I’ll ever really find it, so I just sort of have to do it right? Take it one day at a time? One foot in front of the other? Focus on each step and hope that at the end of the day, it adds up to 15,000 of them?

There’s this book called The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. I may have mentioned it in a previous post. Anywho, that’s sort of the whole premise behind it: where you end up in life is the result of all the little choices you made each and every day. You may not notice the results right away, but that nightly dessert you choose to eat could turn into a 5 lbs weight gain over the course of a couple of years. The morning walk you start taking could have the opposite effect over a long enough time. So, motivation or not, I just need to focus on doing those little things every day – consistently.

Day 1: Here we go again

Yesterday was challenging. I’ve been off the wagon for so long, I’ve lost the habit of checking my Garmin to see how many steps I’ve taken. I’ve also gotten into the bad habit of reflexively dismissing all of the alerts I set up in my phone to remind myself to walk more. It’s funny how easy it is to fall out of good habits and develop bad ones.

Despite those challenges though, I managed to hit my step goal. I cut it close; it was almost midnight by the time I reached 15,000 steps. It also took a lot of living room laps I wasn’t really very motivated to do; but somehow, I pushed through and did it.

I’m behind on my steps yet again today, but I’m feeling up to the challenge after yesterday’s win. Hopefully, it’s the first of many to come.

Day 0: A fresh start

It’s the Sunday night of Thanksgiving Day weekend. I’ve spent the last three days eating and sitting around. I feel heavy, bloated, and basically all-around gross.

Tomorrow was supposed to be my next Bod Pod appointment. It’s been over four weeks since my last one, and almost just as long as since I’ve written a post for this blog. Unfortunately, there was a fire at the wellness center building and my appointment was cancelled. I was advised that they’d contact me to reschedule once they figure out if the equipment still works. That hasn’t happened just yet.

I’ve been “off the wagon” since my last post. I’d like to say that I’ve been trying to climb back on it all this time, but that would be a lie. The thing is, sometimes, the things that motivate me the most, are also the things that make me want to quit. Writing these posts, which for almost 90 days pushed me to get my steps in even when I didn’t want to, were exactly the thing that made me want to walk away from it all – and walk away I did, for a few weeks at least.

But, there’s nothing like that bloated, too-lazy feeling to make me want to get back on track. I’ve felt pretty awful these past few weeks. I’ve felt stressed, moody, lethargic, lazy, and heavy. I’ve been disorganized and unproductive. All of the positive changes I’d seen in myself since I started this challenge, seemed to go away once I gave it up. So here I am, ready to give it another try.

I’m not going to set myself up for failure by starting “right now.” It’s late in the evening, and I’m barely at 5,000 steps. I’m also going to avoid looking back at my Garmin logs for the past few weeks to see what my step average has been. I won’t beat myself up over things I can’t change. They don’t matter.

What I am going to do is start fresh tomorrow. I’m going to start back at Day 1. My goal: walk 15,000 steps a day for the next 365 days. Granted, similar to last time, I’ll likely add other goals later on, but for now, I’m focusing solely on hitting my daily step goal. Baby steps.

Wish me luck!