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Posts tagged ‘I need sleep’

Day 4: Fail so soon?

I managed to push through and hit my goal on Tuesday, but yesterday was a fail. I lost track of time and ended the day almost 2,000 steps short. I can’t say I’m doing much better today either – it’s already past 8:00 pm and I’m not even at 5,000 steps yet.

I’m struggling. I’m finding it a lot harder to hit my step goal this time around. I’m not as motivated as a I was the first time. I’m not sure if that’s because I haven’t slept much this week, or if I’ve just lost my “why.”

I mean, I know why I want to do this. I can still remember how much better I felt a month into this challenge. It got me to my lowest weight in years and helped me continue to lose inches off my jiggly bits. But knowing why you should do something, and why you want to do something, doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll actually do it. At least, that’s how it is for me.

I need to find something else; something that’ll really get my motivation going. Unfortunately, a lot of the things that used to motivate me in the past, just don’t have the same effect anymore. I’m at a loss for ideas, and I can’t wait on finding motivation to get back on track. There’s no guarantee that I’ll ever find it anyway, so I just sort of have to do it right? Take it one day at a time? Put one foot in front of the other? Focus on each step and hope that at the end of the day, it adds up to about 15,000 of them?

There’s this book called “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy. The whole premise of it is that where you end up in life is the result of all the little choices you made each and every day. You may not notice the results right away, but that nightly dessert you choose to eat could turn into a 5 lbs weight gain over the course of a couple of years. The morning walk you start taking could have the opposite effect over a long enough time. So, motivation or not, I just need to focus on doing those little things every day – consistently. That’s how lasting change happens.

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Day 76: I did it!

I made it to the gym this morning. I didn’t want to go. I dreaded it the entire walk there, but I went and I worked out. Granted, I felt weak and cranky, but I got it done.

That being said, I realized I’m not really enjoying this new workout I’m doing. I’m not sure whether to stick with it, or try something different. I won’t make any decisions about it tonight, but I will definitely give it some thought and try to come up with something tomorrow.

Regardless, I’ll stick with the program for now. My husband won’t be around in the morning, and I have to work, but I should be able to complete my scheduled high intensity interval training (HIIT) early in the am from home, before the kids wake up… assuming I wake up on time that is. I’ve been averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night, so yeah, I’m exhausted. I need a real, full night’s sleep.

Final Step Count: 18,477

Day 58: Meal prep my way did not happen today

I searched for recipes  immediately after publishing yesterday’s post and decided on a few. I made my grocery list and went to bed feeling motivated. I assumed today would be a productive meal prepping day…

But it wasn’t. The day started out all right; I got up, took big kid to her soccer game, then came home and went grocery shopping. I didn’t get all the things I needed to do the prep I had planned, but I did get the ingredients for pumpkin chocolate chip protein muffins and oatmeal chocolate chip protein cookies.

I was pumped to make my muffins and cookies. They were an impulse decision, but a good one. I’ve been struggling with this protein thing because I’d rather eat cookies right? So why not make some that have protein in them?

Unfortunately, life with kids happened, and it all went to shit. The worst part is, I skipped my workout today and now I regret it. I feel like if I’d gone to the gym, I would have been able to shake off this mood. At this point, it’s too late in the day to go without it affecting my sleep.

I’m trying to reframe my skipped workout as a blessing in disguise. I’ve been sore since I started working out consistently, so an extra day of rest might not be such a bad thing, right? Maybe if I tell myself that enough times I’ll start to believe it.

I’m sure after a good night’s rest, I’ll feel better in the morning. I just need to keep moving forward.

Current step count: 5,523

Day 11: Hello Monday!

It’s Monday.

I used to hate Mondays. I mean, I’ve always liked the idea of a new week and a fresh start, but since they’ve usually coincided with the first day of my work week, I’ve kinda sorta dreaded them. Now that I work from home, I actually really enjoy Mondays. I don’t schedule any work – instead I take the day to get organized for the work week, run errands, and do things around the house, like clean and meal plan.

Unfortunately, Mondays have been a tad off since we returned from vacation. The big kid is on summer break, and I’ve cut back on my workload to spend more time with her and the little kid. I’ve been trying to continue to make the most of my Mondays, but it’s been hard. I’ve been struggling a lot to get back into my routine, and without my routine, I just feel… chaotic? All over the place?

The reminders I set yesterday seemed to help a bit with ensuring I stayed on top of my step count. Although I missed a couple when they went off, I did see a few of them – and something is better than nothing. Although I didn’t hit my step goal until later in the evening, I was close to 15,000 steps several hours earlier than usual. I’m pretty sure I have the reminders to thank for that, especially considering the eventful day we had yesterday. Little kid developed a fever and the big kid got tossed off her pony during her riding lesson. She’s fine – she brushed herself off and fortunately walked away from it with nothing more than a small bruise, but it was scary, to say the least.

I understand I’ll be limited in what I can do today with a sick kid at home, but there’s still a lot I can do. For example, I can set some goals for the week. I haven’t been very consistent with logging my meals, and I doubt my eating habits have changed at all, but my weight’s dipped again a couple of pounds since Friday. I’m sure it’s just water weight, but I’m going to try to do better at logging all of my meals this week, just to see how much I’m eating on average each day.

I also really need to work on getting my sleep schedule back on track. My ADHD makes it difficult for me to fall asleep. If I don’t manage it, I can be up all night just staring at the ceiling and setting myself up for failure the next day. If I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t get up on time in the morning, which throws off my morning routine and entire day. Also, if I manage to get up on time and try to function on little sleep, my medication becomes basically ineffective, and I spend the day walking around in a fog, eating everything in sight, and getting little to nothing done.

I didn’t get nearly enough sleep last night and skipped my morning routine, but I’m going to do my best to fight the fog and turn my day around. Hopefully, little kid will feel better soon and I’ll be able to take him on a short run with the jogging stroller while the big kid rides her bike. He woke up pretty happy and energetic, so it seems like my chances are pretty good.

Have a happy Monday!

Current step total: 2,707

Current step goal streak: 1 day 
Previous step goal streak: 1 day 
Longest step goal streak: 6 days 

 

 

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